Thursday, May 5, 2011

Roe v Wade for Men

So someone somewhere in cyberspace was musing about an urban legend in which a girlfriend stole her boyfriend's sperm without his knowledge and then sued him for child support.  And then someone2 laughed it off, saying you can't take a man's sperm without his knowledge.  Seems pretty reasonable, doesn't it?

But I've actually read about cases--weird, weird cases--in which a man's sperm was "stolen" from him.  There was the case where a man alleged he had only had protected oral sex with a woman and she later inseminated herself with the resulting sperm.  There was the case where a man alleged he was passed out entirely, drunk, and a woman had sex with him (wait, isn't that a form of rape?), but she still (successfully) sued him for child support.

Extreme cases?  Sure.  Probably not very common.  But they do highlight a double standard in the reproductive rights movement.  Post-conception, pre-birth: women have a choice.  Men don't.

As a pro-lifer, I feel that the best way to even out this inequality is for everyone to take responsibility if/when they choose to have sex.  And of course by "take responsibility" I mean "not kill their offspring," although there are certainly those who argue that abortion *is* the responsible choice.

However there are those who believe the best way to address this gender difference is to allow men more reproductive choice as well.  No, this doesn't mean allowing men to force women either to give birth or to have an abortion.  It means giving men the legal right to opt out of raising a child, so men cannot be "forced" into parenthood any more than women.

The National Center for Men even filed a lawsuit demanding "Roe vs Wade for Men" and elaborating on how men shouldn't be pushed into having children they don't want.  The lawsuit was practically stillborn (bu-dum-ch!) but it still reflected a mentality I find utterly depressing.

I think it's depressing when people feel their situation or needs are important enough to ditch their children.  It's sad to think of a new life created and pretty much immediately shunned.  This sadness applies both when men try to find ways out of child support and when women choose abortion.  I wish every child *was* a wanted child, but meanwhile I don't think it should be legal to ditch the unwanted ones.
"I say love everyone.  And those you don't love, kill.  That way you can love everyone again."
 If you read the above lawsuit or these other articles and you feel like you want to grab a guy by the shoulders, shake him and say "Man up!" then you have some idea of how I feel about some of the more common reasons cited for obtaining an abortion.


Robert Treat said...

Thank you for this editorial. Decent men have no say in what happens to any children they might create in a relationship. At the same time if a abusive boyfriend doesn't want children the woman might have to seek shelter or even leave town if she wants to carry the child full-term.

Sarah 'Orgovan' Olson said...

If men would man up there would be less abortion too. That being said I fully believe they should have the right to their child if the woman wants an abortion. She should carry him/her to term and then hand over parental rights. Why is it that we call men who ditch their kids "deadbeats" but women who do the same pro-choice?

Coyote said...

The pro-choice double-standards n regards to this are disgusting and make me literally depressed and want to vomit.