Friday, February 1, 2013

Embracing my son

[Today's guest post is by SPL member and adoptive mom Nicole Wood.*]

Early in 2011, I met my son. He was scared, he did not speak, his appearance was unkempt, he cowered in a corner making little eye contact. I was told that he was thought to be deaf and I would need to learn sign language to communicate with him. He was a child of a child. His mother didn't know how to care for him properly, not being cared for as a young girl herself. She left him with a man she was dating while she worked. He was too young to remember everything that happened while he stayed with this man so we will never really know. Eventually, he was abruptly taken from his home when he had to be life flighted for fatal injuries to his abdomen. Doctors saved his life via emergency surgery to removed part of his bowels that had ruptured and were spilling into his abdominal cavity creating septic shock. The man in charge of him admitted to physically abusing him. This all happened in a few months after his second birthday.

This child was not only born to a mother who couldn't care for him, he was created out of rape as well. If any child was a case for abortion, he would be a solid one. If pro-choice advocates had a poster child for why we need abortion, he was it. He would be their champion for what happens when woman can't choose abortion. Surely he would have been better off to never have been born.

Fast forward two years. This little boy talks very well, and he is reading at age four. He has the biggest smile I've ever seen and he lights up a room. He introduces himself to everyone he meets with pride. He has a big sister who annoys him, but he loves her dearly. He has a little sister whom he is so tender with. He tells everyone about his precious little sister and how he is her big brother. His favorite super hero is Spider Man and he puts on his costume at least once a day. He really loves super heroes and I wonder some times if it is normal boy stuff or if it's because he feels like there were super heroes in his life in the form of doctors, nurses, CPS caseworkers, big sister (who definitely taught him to just jump for joy without being scared), his mom and dad, his grandmothers and grandfathers, his cousins, and all the friends of the family who love him. 

It makes me sad some times when I hear pro-lifers talk about abortion should be okay in the case of rape. I can't help but to think of my little man. Does he not deserve life? Was he any less human because of what his biological father did? It makes me sad when I hear the pro-choice side say that women who cannot financially support their children should have the right to not bring them up in bad circumstances. Do these children not deserve a voice? After all my child went through, what would he say? Did he wish his mother would have not given him life? Surely not! He would have missed out on a lot of pain but he would have also missed out on a lifetime of happiness. These children, just like any human being, do deserve life. 

Rather than giving the mother a "pass" in these circumstances to commit abortion, why not find ways to help them?  If we truly want to be loving to unborn children, shouldn't we love their mothers, too? I believe that we, as a society, can work together, to not just help children, but also help their parents. After all, they will ultimately be in charge of the care for the children we save (either by finding them an adoptive home or by raising them themselves). To show dignity to all human life, we must embrace ALL human life.

*Name has been changed to protect her children's identities.


Jameson Graber said...

Very beautiful testimony, thank you.

Monica Lynn said...

Thank you for writing this. Best to you and your family.

Sam Tocci said...

extremely touch, thank for show how even the less than perfect life is so full of joy.