|Nope! Where may I collect?|
[Today's guest blogger is anonymous.]
While a stereotype out there about pro-lifers is that we’re prudish virgins who all hate sex, that’s not true. You can be pro-life and still have sex. Plenty of us have, myself included. But I always have sex with the thought in the back of my mind that I may end up pregnant. And I wouldn’t punish an innocent unborn child for my decision.
A few months ago I found myself faced with dealing with the possible consequences of having sex involving having a baby. Having an irregular cycle, the waiting game was even more difficult with timing. Though a woman is more likely to become pregnant at certain times of the months than either, pregnancy is always a possibility.
I knew that I would always give my hypothetical baby life, but thinking I could be pregnant caused me to think a little about pregnancy, privacy, and pregnancy centers.
Here are a few things which ran through my mind during this time of waiting and wondering:
1. You don’t have to have been pregnant, but it does provide a nice perspective. Now I still don’t fit that category considering I was not pregnant. And I have always held that men have a role in the pro-life movement, to stand up for the women and unborn children in their lives. Still, it is beneficial to the pro-life movement to have women who have become pregnant and had children, especially when unplanned, to encourage others that they can do it.
2. Nine months may be long and difficult, but it is not forever. Nine months of feeling sick would not have been fun, and it would maybe seem like a long time, but it would not be forever. And no kind of sickness or being uncomfortable could justify having my unborn child go through the pain of an abortion.
3. Sex and pregnancy are private. Abortion is not. It the decision and business of two consenting adults to have sex. Thus it is the woman and the father of her child’s business if she gets pregnant. Once she is pregnant though, she is pregnant with another human life, and that life being ended is not a private matter.
4. Pregnancy, or even just thinking you’re pregnant, is an emotional time for women, opening up the possibility of vulnerability and persuasion. I would never have an abortion, for any reason. Regardless, thinking I was pregnant was emotional enough for me. I knew that if I were not so set in my beliefs, especially since I am a person who seeks the advice of others, I could listened to someone convince me to have an abortion. It is not anti-women to say that women are often talked into their abortions. It is anti-women to take advantage and make that decision for them.
5. Adoption seemed like a much more attractive option than I ever thought possible. I used to be set in that I would never place my child for adoption. This time though, I did not know what my relationship status was or where it would go. My child would also grow up in a household with parents of completely different views and faiths, including the position of life. I wasn’t sure if my pro-life influence would be enough. Adoption would help ensure that my child was raised by parents in a household I hoped for him or her to have.
6. It is woefully ignorant to assume that one’s pro-life position depends on their faith. I am not pro-life because of my faith. I have always affirmed that you don’t have to be religious to be pro-life, and it is ignorant and lazy to assume all pro-lifers are religious. I am pro-life because of science. My faith did not play any smaller or larger a role in my thinking about my possible pregnancy than anything else going on in my life.
7. The attacks that crisis pregnancies are under seem even more shameful and unnecessary. I turned to a pregnancy center for a pregnancy test. The staffer there was kind, helpful and non-judgmental. I was also promised confidentiality. The test was explained to me, and was free. My partner, who is neither pro-life nor a Christian, felt being at the center went positively. (This blog just recently reported on the hypocrisy of the legal trouble pregnancy centers have to endure when abortion clinics are allowed to operate without being inspected and under deplorable conditions.)
I turned out not to be pregnant, and ideally I won’t be pregnant until I’m in a long-term relationship or married. But I can speak to the experience I have had, and I feel that it gives me a perspective that certainly adds to the movement. And I know that if ever faced with a real pregnancy, I will truly stick to my pro-life values.